Grace

Grace is a short, reflective film that explores the quiet strength needed when standing in the midst of the storms. Demonstrated through a nonlinear storyline, I was once faced with challenges that were unbearable in the moment. Yet, little did I understand that my hardships didn’t have the final word. Through my continuous perseverance, endurance, and faith, my character of resilience strengthened. I learned to accept grace into my struggles, reminding myself that the seasons I face are only chapters to my storybook. Above all, I discovered that resilience isn’t loud, but instead a test of whether I was willing to stay present despite the outcome being unknown. Cool tones followed me during times of uncertainty, while warm tones were when I was at peace, even during hardships.

I attended San Diego Mesa College. Attending community college was not my initial plan after graduating high school, as I was supposed to attend a private four-year university. Withdrawing abruptly due to financial hardship, I was aggressively pushed by my parental figures to attend San Diego Mesa College; a school that was an hour away from my hometown. I committed to one-hour long commutes to attend classes for two years, five days a week. On top of consistently enrolling in fifteen units a semester, I was committed to working twenty-four hours per week in a mental health residential treatment care facility. On the side, I was also passionate about my freelance photography and I scheduled photoshoots frequently with clients. During application season, I placed all of my eggs into one basket and only applied to one school: University of California, San Diego. I pushed towards a future where I wasn’t sure doors would open. I was aware of the risk I was taking, however I remained faithful and persistent in my decision making.

Between the period of submitting applications to decisions being released, this short film represents the emotional battles when challenged in an unknown season. Each day, I continued to choose to attend lectures when exhausted. The lecture hall may appear to be empty, but I remain present in silent strength. I continued clocking into work, driving long commutes to school, continuing to study and finish homework assignments. From in-between lectures, during my work shifts, looking past midnight, I continuously checked my email, hoping to receive an answer to my worries. I struggled walking through the motions daily with fear of receiving a rejection letter, constantly questioning if I wasted two years of my life at community college due to only applying to transfer to one school. Yet, I learned to lean into faith and chose to remain at peace in the outcome of the decision letter. Becoming a UCSD student revealed a courageous character within myself. I learned that my struggles are unending, but what I’ve experienced in the past is a stepping stone to move forward. Currently, I am choosing to be kinder to myself even when times are difficult.